Achieving Success and Happiness

Last January my wife gave birth to a baby girl and we are absolutely delighted to have a daughter. However, after being grateful that she’s healthy, we started thinking about what we want for her future. After careful thought and long discussions, we decided that we simply want her to be happy.

It seems simple, but how do we help her to become a happy and successful person? That’s a really difficult question to answer. Or is it?

Aside from the joy that I’ve gotten from having a wonderful family and friends, the only profound joy that I’ve experienced has come from hard work. It doesn’t matter what I’m working on; if I try my best and sacrifice, irrespective of the result, I feel good about myself after I’ve completed my task.

This has always been true in karate, it was true in college and law school, and has been true in my professional career. In fact, whenever I have a difficult task or chore to perform, I make a game out of it. If I honestly try hard to do a good job, then irrespective of what other people might think or say, I feel good at the end of the process. It’s that simple!

For example, if you want to become great at karate, then you should make an honest attempt to practice hard in class and at home. Make a list of the things that you want to improve and a time limit for improving them. Then, if at the end of the time period you have not accomplished your goal, you didn’t work hard enough. No excuses.

But, how do you know if you’re working hard enough? In karate, if you finish class and your uniform is dry, then you know that you haven’t worked hard enough because you have not sweat. In karate you’ve got to sweat to make progress. So, you can’t fool yourself.

Studying and school work are the same. If it’s Sunday night and you know that you’ve got a quiz on Wednesday, you decide how many times you need to review the quiz material in order to score well. Then, if you haven’t completed your review by Tuesday night before you go to sleep, you haven’t worked hard enough. Here again, you can’t fool yourself.

So, don’t waste your time searching for some “secret” to success and happiness because there isn’t really a secret. Just sweat to get what you want and most of the time you will succeed. And, if by some chance you don’t succeed, then you can still feel good about yourself because you will have made an honest effort and you can always try again.

OSU!�

Much is Given and Much is Expected

Growing up in the U.S. can be a wonderful thing because the sky is the limit for our dreams and goals. However, this wonderful opportunity has a sticky flip-side because if we don’t try hard we appear lazy and spoiled.

In childhood our proud parents often praise us. How often have you heard “you’re very intelligent,” or “you can do anything that you set your mind to”? Well if those things are true, does it reflect poorly on us if we don’t work hard to achieve our goals?

Yes, it does. Here’s why.

There are severely disadvantaged people here in the U.S. and abroad who have far fewer opportunities than many of us enjoy. In fact, some disadvantaged people are unable to attend school because they cannot afford tuition and others can’t even find work because there are no jobs. Notwithstanding, many disadvantaged people achieve greater success than is achieved by people who do not suffer disadvantage.

So, when we meet a successful person who was once disadvantaged, most of us are either inspired or embarrassed. Inspiration comes from understanding that we can overcome nearly any obstacle when we work hard. Embarrassment comes from the stark realization that our efforts to achieve our dreams have been mediocre.

In sum, if one works hard, his chances of achieving success are as good or better in the U.S. than anywhere else in the world. So, it’s both a great advantage and a burden to be a young person in the U.S. because to those to whom much is given, much is expected.

Seichou Karate® challenges and provides teenagers with the confidence to make the most of every opportunity that this great nation offers. OSU!

Consequences

In my first semester of law school one of my professors taught us that most people obey the law because they’re fear the consequences of disobeying it. He believed that people don’t follow the law out of goodness or morality.

For example, according to my law professor, most drivers don’t obey the speed limit for safety; they obey it because they don’t want to get a speeding ticket; most people don’t steal money because they’re afraid of going to jail – not because it is wrong to steal; most corporations don’t pollute because they don’t want to get fined, not because it is wrong to pollute.

Intelligent people can disagree on this question. However, we have a true-life case study that might help us to understand this problem.

In January NBA star Gilbert Arenas was charged by DC authorities with the crime of carrying an unlicensed gun. He could have gone to jail for several years for this serious felony. However, last week, Arenas learned that he would not go to jail. He is a very lucky man because a jail term could have ended his professional basketball career and wrecked his life.

Before learning that he would not go to jail, when he was terrified that he would lose everything, Arenas publicly apologized for having broken the law and disappointing his family, fans and teammates. Arenas must be very elated that he has been giving a second chance at life, but has he learned from his mistake or will he repeat his error?

Only time will tell. However, my law school professor would probably argue that Arenas will continue to engage in criminal behavior that places others at risk because he did not suffer significant consequences.

What do you think? Are consequences (jail time) necessary to keep Gilbert Arenas from breaking the law again? Or, will this experience be enough to keep him from repeating his mistake?

Let us know what you think below. OSU!

A Horse's Tail

A wise person once said that a man's fortune can change with the swoosh of a horse's tail.

On January 14, Washington Wizards star guard Gilbert Arenas was charged with carrying a pistol without a license outside a home or business. That's a felony, which means that Arenas could serve at least a year in jail.

Apparently, he had an argument with one of his teammates and pulled a gun on the other guy in the team locker room. The question is: why did he do it?

Arenas is a famous star athlete who had a 111 million dollar contract to do something that he loves... play basketball! So, why did he behave so recklessly?

No one can know what was going through his mind when he made the decision to carry an unlicensed firearm. However, it's clear that he KNEW that his conduct was illegal. So, he KNEW that he has taking a big chance with his career and life.

Arenas' problem was that he did not appreciate how lucky he was. He had great health, talent, money, fame, and family and friends who loved him. He thought that he was invincible, but he was wrong. He never considered that - just like Michael Vick and other pro-athletes - one poor decision could wreck his entire life.

Anything that is truly valuable in life takes time to achieve or cultivate. It is difficult to master Seichou Karate. So, when we achieve that black belt, we should appreciate all of the work that we invested to in achieving that goal.

Wise people treasure their health, family, friends, and career because they know that these things are fragile. We can lose them in an instant or with swoosh of a horse's tail. Don't repeat Gilbert Arenas' mistake. OSU!

Say "OSU"!

Have you ever walked into a room and said "hello" to someone in that room but not gotten a response?

If that's happened to you, I'll bet you didn't like it very much. It's bad manners and hurtful to ignore people. In fact, ignoring others is a sure way to put distance between you and them.

That's why it's a Seichou Karate rule that everyone must say "OSU" when entering or leaving the dojo, or when stepping onto or off of the mat. By saying "OSU" loudly, you let everyone know that you're happy to see them and eager to train with them. This creates a good connection between you and others. This is powerful because - just like a big snowball - your "OSU" rubs off on other people in a good way. Then, people get along well and the dojo becomes STRONGER!

So, make certain that you always say "OSU"!

Getting What You Want this Holiday Season

What do you want for the holidays? Better yet, what do you want for the next year? This holiday season, instead of thinking only about what gift you want from your parents, you should think BIGGER!

As for me, starting at Thanksgiving and continuing through the end of each year, I think about how lucky I am to have my family, my friends and to teach at my own dojo. In simplest terms, I’m doing just what I want to be doing, and hanging out with precisely the people with whom I want to be spending time.

There are people who are not as fortunate as I am. In fact, some people look at me and say, “it came easy to him.” However, nothing could be farther from the truth because I walked a rough road to get where I am today. I studied in university for 10 years, did jobs that were unpleasant, and spent a lot of time with people who didn’t care if I succeeded or failed.

Here’s a list of habits that helped me achieve my goals:

1. Get the best possible education.
2. Don’t take short cuts because hard work always brings pleasure, pride and results.
3. Know your strengths and weaknesses because that knowledge will be a source of self-confidence and self-improvement.
4. Maintain your health by eating well, sleeping enough and practicing Seichou Karate®.
5. Never put anything into your body or engage behavior that could hurt you.
6. Surround yourself with people who uplift you. Don’t hang out with flatterers or with negative people or who sap your positive energy.
7. Each December identify clear goals that will become your roadmap for the coming year. Then, at the end of each year, assess how well you did in achieving those goals.

So, this holiday season, think BIG! Take the time to decide what you want in the coming year, then think deeply about how hard you’re willing to work to accomplish your goals, and remember that these habits will help you achieve the things that you desire.

OSU!

Becoming an Adult

I’m a little behind the times.

You see, most of my friends got married way before I did and already have kids in junior high, high school and college. When their kids were little, we’d get together and the kids were so cute! They’d run around in cute little clothes, say the most adorable, although sometimes painfully truthful, things about their parents, their parents’ friend, and about the world. I loved my friends’ kids because they were pure, insightful, and a delight to be around.

However, the years passed and those adorable little kids finished elementary school, entered puberty and developed their own personalities. Gradually, my friends were telling me about their kids’ “unusual” new behavior like sleeping ‘til noon on weekends, ignoring or talking back to their parents, and general uncooperativeness.

At first, I didn’t believe some of the things that I was hearing. For example, one kid texted his friends more than 2,000 times one month causing his mom to get a HUGE telephone bill. Then, one day after school another kid went to her girlfriend’s house, and then decided to stay overnight, but she forgot to let her parents know about her plans. Her parents were panic-stricken and called the police. In both cases, my friends told me that their kids didn’t understand what was “so wrong” with what they had done and they were actually angry with their parents for making so many rules.

Well, rules might seem dumb, and this kind of activity might seem spontaneous and exciting, but it’s not okay for two reasons.

First, the law makes parents pay for everything that kids do. Since parents work hard for their money, it’s selfish for kids to simply pick their pocket every time they get the itch to do something “spontaneous.” Second, although you might have gone to the movies a whole bunch of times by yourself, there’s plenty of danger out there in the big world that you don’t know about. Unfortunately, kids who do “exciting” things without their parents’ knowledge sometimes get selected for extinction*.

If it’s still hard to understand why you shouldn’t do “spontaneous” or “exciting” things without getting your parents permission, consider that growing up is the process of learning to get along with other people. That means being considerate and respecting boundaries. So, if you know that your mom hates dirty dishes in the sink, make certain to wash or put your dirty dishes in the dishwasher. She will respect you more for being considerate. If you’re lucky enough to have a cellphone, then once a week dial 611 to make sure that you won’t go over your monthly minutes. Your parents will be impressed that you are respecting financial boundaries.

Creating these habits might seem like a pain in the neck, but they will give rise to powerful, positive changes in your life.

When your parents notice your new habits (and believe me they WILL notice), they will become sad and happy at the same time. They will be sad because they will realize that you are moving away from childhood and becoming an adult; they will be happy because they will realize that you are beginning to amass the skills and knowledge to survive on your own in the real world.

So, although you might “feel” like an adult when you talk back or disobey your parents, the truth is that you will begin the process of becoming an adult when you (1) understand that the rules that their rules are intended to help you succeed in life, and (2) obey their rules without complaining.

OSU!

Sensei Romero

*If you’re unfamiliar with this reference, read the Origin of Species by Charles Darwin.